Welcome to your mid-week Shitbox Showdown! All right, before anyone says anything, yes. Today’s contestants are wildly disparate in price. But wait until you see how similar they are in damn near every other regard. First, however, let’s take a look at the results from yesterday’s bad-hair Fords:
As expected, a comfortable win for the Lincoln, fake convertible top and all. You guys realize that’s not just cloth, right? It’s a whole fiberglass shell shaped like a convertible top, with the cloth stretched over it, and the car wears it like a hat. But hey, if that’s how you wanna roll, don’t let me stop you.
Continuing with the theme of strange things automakers do to the roofs of cars, today we’re looking at two cars that started life as Z31-chassis Nissan 300ZXs, both with T-tops. One was wrecked and rebuilt, and then left to sit and fixed up again, and the other – well, just take a look.
1984 Nissan 300ZX 2+2 – $4,000
Engine/drivetrain: 3.0 liter overhead cam V6, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
Odometer reading: 140,000 miles
Runs/drives? Runs great!
What we have here is the least-desirable of Nissan’s Z car: the Z31 series 2+2, non-turbo, with an automatic. But it’s a funny thing: Even an “undesirable” 300ZX is still a pretty cool car. And actually, looking at it now, I think I prefer the 2+2 roofline of this generation. It looks more balanced. As for the automatic, maybe I’m getting soft in my old age, but I’m fine with it. Your mileage, of course, may vary.
This car has always been a 2+2, but from the sound of it, it didn’t start out with T-tops. It was wrecked and repaired early in its life, and came out the other side with a salvage title, and a shiny new open-air roof. It later sat in storage for ten years, before the current owner revived it, and did a ton of mechanical restoration to it. It now runs and drives great, and if that weren’t enough, the top of the intake manifold has been signed by none other than bass guitar god and Primus frontman Les Claypool. Apparently the seller did some work on Les’s Bronco, and asked him to sign the Z’s engine. I mean, personally, I would have had him sign my bass, or maybe my copy of Pork Soda, but an intake is good too, I guess.
It looks pretty good outside, except for a decent-sized ding in the left rear corner, and some peeling clearcoat. We don’t get much in the way of interior photos, but from what I can see, it’s serviceable. The seller notes slow window motors and a fussy turn signal switch, but those aren’t deal-breakers. And in addition to the T-tops, it has the all-important rear window louvers. No Japanese ’80s fastback is complete without them.
It also includes all the service records since new (amazing for a 39 year old car), as well as photographs of the repairs. Yeah, a dinged title is a downer, but if you can see what it looked like before, and how it was repaired, that’s a plus. Oh, and the original wheels are included as well, if you prefer them.
1986 Spartan II – $23,000
Engine/drivetrain: 3.0 liter overhead cam V6, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Claremont, CA
Odometer reading: 53,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yes, but has old tires
Neoclassic cars are one of those weird automotive subsets that I really appreciate, but have absolutely no desire to own. At least, I don’t think I do. All right, maybe once in a while I wonder if life would be better gazing down a long hood, seeing the world zip past a pair of fender-mounted spare tires, finding a convenient empty Costco parking lot in which to execute a three-point turn. But most of the time I just admire them from afar, thankful that I don’t have to try to parallel park one.
This baroque beast is one of only 300 of its kind, built by Spartan Motorcars of San Marcos, California. Information is hard to find, because there are two other car companies and a motorhome manufacturer called Spartan. It gets confusing really quickly. I did find photos of an earlier version, based on the S130-chassis Datsun 280ZX; those are apparently even rarer than this Z31-based car.
It’s not a great name anyway; “Spartan” is not an adjective I’d use to describe this car, particularly on the inside. It’s all standard Z-car fare, but with the luxury turned up a notch, with crested leather seats and what may or may not be real wood appliqués on the dash and center console. It’s all pretty damned opulent for a Datsun. And even better, it’s in great condition.
The seller says this car runs and drives, but the tires are out of date and need replacing before it can be driven any distance. The air conditioning also “needs a recharge,” which we all know is just a euphemism for broken. But the great thing is that it’s just a 300ZX underneath, so it could make a reliable daily driver if one were so inclined.
Now, I realize this isn’t a fair comparison, with the massive price difference. But you understand, it had to be done: Two of the same car, one with an engine signed by a rock star, and the other looking like it raided Liberace’s wardrobe. I can’t ignore that. So let’s just pretend that you have the funds to buy either one. Which one could find a home in your garage?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
How is this even a competition? I’d be embarrassed to drive that baroque monstrosity around and even more embarrassed if anyone found out how much I spent on it.
Also, Z31 the least desirable? I dunno about that. I love those things. I mean, I’d rather have a manual turbo in a different color, but come on. It’s surely more attractive than a 280ZX…
I think he meant the least desirable Z31 out there, with the wrong transmission, lack of turbo, and too many seats.
That sure sounds like it encompasses all the Zs from 240 to 370 and beyond.
300ZX for me.
It’s never gonna win no checkered flags, but it’s never gonna come in last.
Whoever voted for the baroque abomination is a moron and should rething their social interactions with any community.
Ahem…
I know you are, but what am I?!?
Also, if it ain’t baroque, don’t fix it.
You? You do you, thank you.
Also, I agree with you, wholeheartedly, on your last sentence.
Some people like to watch the world burn…
I’ll thing whatever I want, thankyouverymuch.
Fair enough 🙂
The Spartan scares me less, but for $22k with dry-rotted tires and in-op A/C, the seller can take a flying leap.
Can I have yesterday’s Lincoln twice instead? No?
Okay, pending an inspection from a body shop and a relatively-dry trip through a car wash, the gold car wins it by default. Those louvers, of course, are fantastic.
I once owned a 1987 300ZX nearly identical to this one – gold, 2+2, automatic, factory T-tops. It was a good car, albeit the automatic sapped almost all the fun it had to offer – it was $1100 and I was a broke college student, so I took what I could get and not necessarily what I wanted. This one being salvaged from a major wreck makes me nervous, but these cars are still sporting to drive in the twisties even if the VG30 only made (optimistically) 160hp, and certainly better than that Spartan II.
I’ve seen in-person and up close a Z31-based Spartan II, and I can’t say I was impressed by either the build quality or the looks.
Z31 for me. Not a fan of cars like the Spartan though I’m amused by those stubby first gen Sevilles that have the rear doors chopped off for some reason.
I would spend the extra and avoid the hacked car and go for the Spartan.
I voted for the Z31, I would replace the tranny though. But I wouldn’t mind driving a pimptastic Spartan either. I just have to find my platform shoes….
I feel like those shoes need a fish swimming in them.
How did Junebug go to the bathroom with all those gold chains on?
I feel like this is the car the pimp drove in that episode of King of the Hill where Peggy unwittingly become one, too.
Not just any rock star, but the 2nd best rock star to be immortalized in the 1991 classic masterpiece Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey!!! STATION!!!!!!
Still, I voted for baroque because my dad fucking loves that shit 🙂
Price has nothing to do with it – I don’t care if it was free… I would never be caught dead even sitting in anything like that Spartan.
I only need 101 Dalmatians to pretend to be Cruella with that Spartan. CP
The gold Z, please. First order of business: replace the intake cover, clean up the Les Claypool-signed item, and sell it. Surely there’s a Primus fan (or ideally, TWO Primus fans) willing to buy such a weird piece of memorabilia.
Came here to say this, Replace the intake cover and then sell the car for $5,000 and the signed cover for $1,000. On one hand, the world loses a car with a weird story. On the other hand, someone gets to enjoy that memorabilia on their wall and I get to spend $2,000 on motorcycles or something.
I recognize that it’s obnoxiously overpriced. I recognize that it’s objectively stupid.
But the Spartan is a RWD Nissan and that means you could potentially make a neoclassic drift car out of it and that is a totally inexplicable dream I have.
I would buy tickets to that show.
I’ve seen a Z31-based Spartan II in the flesh and it would be a brave person to try and drift one of them. It was probably ten years old at the time, but it was bowing where they extended the wheelbase ahead of the firewall and you could see stress cracks on the fender/running boards from it. This was on one that was babied by it’s owner on Houston’s mostly pothole-free roads, so I feel like the odds of the front end departing the rest of the car while drifting is probably pretty high.
Okay, I talked myself into buying tickets to that show as well!
I wouldn’t buy the Spartan over the Z if the Spartan was $4000. I wouldn’t buy the Spartan if it was $4000 and the Z was $23K.
So… put me down for the Z.
The Spartan and Zimmers like it are complete novelty cars that would be good for a laugh if they were $5k, but for $23k I expect to get a vehicle in return that offers me something other than strange looks from people.
Yes, the Z is automatic and not a turbo, but is a good 80’s color and for $4k the salvage title is a “so what?” detail. It is also cheap enough where if you wanted to modify it to say not be an automatic anymore, you won’t feel bad about modifying something that is “too nice”.
There is just no way you can justify altering the look of a car in such a ghastly way. The proportions are all wrong, and completely destroy the whole intent of the car. The fact anyone thought it was a good idea and made it is even less galling than the fact that people then thought it was a good idea and bought it. No thank you, and shame on anyone who disagrees. Shame, I say!
As such, it must be the Spartan. That extra few inches in the roof behind the B pillar on the 2+2 have always ruined it compared to what the car was supposed to be. I mean, my god, just look at the window lines. Barf!
Finally an option for those of us really into The Great Gatsby and JDM! Call it a Spartan because I’ll be looking like Leonidas six years into retirement in the front seat. Nothing but skin to leather contact. As I drive around making comments about all those Irish coming to New York. Woodrow Wilson sticker on the bumper. Price it whatever you want. I, the connoisseur, can’t show up Mount Akina in nothing but my birthday suit, top hat and monocle in anything else. You can dodge the FR killer Civic Takumi, but can you dodge my arms that will block out the sun!
Take your star, old sport.
I’m gonna be that guy and point out there’s not anything JDM about either of these cars. It’s a pet peeve of mine when someone refers to any older Japanese brand as JDM.
I will have my driver drive the revolutionaries side, and I will sit on the Queen’s/ Emperors side with a Logitech wheel taped the dash pretending to be sitting in Yokohama traffic.
no the the zimmer
I’ll take the gold Z in this case.
The personification is a little campy on the ad for the ’84, but props to both these listings for being detailed and not pushy or anything.
I’m wary on the history of Old Gold, but swap out the wheels and it seems like it would capture 80s nostalgia at Rad and the like. The Spartan is too much for me, aesthetically and fiscally. Perhaps if it had chandeliers bolted to the fenders. (I know, different builder.)
The non-fancied ZX is such a heap that not even my cheap ass can justify it. I would normally never, NEVER vote for some weirdo modern car with a fake Great Gatsby/Cruelle DeVille body on top. In this case though, I think it is honestly a better use of your money. What makes the rebuilt ZX worth more than $2,000 besides the already fading autograph?
It may be the least desirable configuration in this case but I don’t personally consider the Z31 to be the least desirable generation of Z. I think the styling has aged like fine wine and gives you absolutely perfect 80s vibes. Yeah, I’d prefer it to be the turbo with a stick, but for 4,000 bucks beggars can’t be choosers.
It’ll make a great cruiser/Cars and Coffee curiosity, especially with the Les Claypool story that’s so weird it’s actually believable. Les is in fact a big car guy with mechanical inclinations and the location checks out. This Z never did win no checkered flags, but it never did come in last…
Also I just hate neoclassical cars so goddamn much. I’m not going to claim it’s a logical disdain and usually I love embracing the weird, but they’re just a bridge too far for me personally.
A mid-80s t-top in gold? With window louvers? Sign me up.
When I was an idiot teenager, a friend was driving a group of us in a (different model) t-top down I-80. We were getting high on the way to Cedar Point. One of the t-top windows blew off. We pulled over and one of the guys jogged down the tollway to retrieve the window. A cop pulled over right as our friend returned with frame of the window in his hand, which was now dripping blood from the broken glass. The cop lectured the driver on failing to secure the top, then lectured the bleeding guy on the dangers of trotting down a busy, 8-lane highway, then lectured the other 2 of us for hanging out with such morons. Cop took off without issuing a ticket and we had a great day at the park.
Anyway, I love a good t-top.
My brother borrowed my 1987 300ZX right after getting his driver’s license. I knew he was going to joy ride it a bit, and assumed the T-tops being removed would be part of it. I climbed into my car to head to work after he got back, and as I slam the door shut the passenger panel hopped up and partially onto the roof – neither panel was latched. I later found out he had the tops off, drove into a random rainstorm normal for Houston, put the tops on and kept driving – he drove about 30 miles on 45-55mph roads without the T-tops latched. Somehow the concept of “do the reverse of what you did to remove them” was lost on him. He got stupid lucky he didn’t have to buy me a new T-top (or two).
Also, the Z31 2+2 was notorious for being able to pop loose a latched T-top if you twisted the body enough. One of the two main entrances to the parking lot of my college would do it each and every time.
So far, me and one other person have decided to choose the pimp life.
Whoever you are out there, I get you. You get me.
There are four of us. Four! Maybe by the end of the day we’ll have dozens or at least a dozen!
I was one of the voters, so we’re almost all accounted for.
I want the Spartan. It’s so ridiculous. But that price is too damned high to buy something for the lulz.