First post in 2014, is going to be pretty interesting and dramatic. 😛 Something I’ve never touched in a very long time, because no one gave me a reason too. But lately, I have witnessed struggles that if I don’t post about it, I’d be guilty. Relationships and Religion. The million dollar question: Does religion matters when you are in a relationship?

The moment of truth. And as we have been told the truth is ugly. 😦  And yes. Religion matters, it matters so much in a relationship.

Before you badger me with your questions and defenses, do allow me to state that everything I am sharing is something I have personally experienced, which have led me to do a thorough research on why I believe, in what I believe. It is something that I have interpreted based on all the articles I have researched on. 🙂 It indirectly states my opinion based on my values, which I believe everyone has the right to do so. You may find it disturbing and threatening if you disagree, which again, is clearly your right. No offences taken. 😀 You are most welcome to discontinue your reading, but then again, maybe this post is actually meant for you. 🙂

I use to think that religion shouldn’t break people. It should unite. I mean, it is love. What can be so wrong about love? After all love is God. And God is love. So how can two people in love, have anything to do with religion? More importantly, why should it matter?

Have you ever fixed a jigsaw puzzle? Have you ever connected the wrong pieces together? It doesn’t fit in, of course. What’s worse is that it gets stuck, making it harder for you to pull it out. 😦 Even if you manage to pull it out, you have a high possibility of damaging one of its piece. I’m not just giving this example because I love jigsaw puzzles (I absolutely love them!! 😀 ), but because if you are not of the same yoke, or the same faith, they how can you connect with each other? Just because two puzzles are of the same colour or size, doesn’t mean they should be together. And just because you love someone so deeply, or if that person shares the same compatibility with you, like the jigsaw puzzle, maybe you can be joined, but if it is not the correct piece, if it is not of the same origin, but you might end up damaging a part. 😦

Many people whom I’ve met, seem to have different opinion on religion and relationship. Many people say, it shouldn’t matter. When you love someone, you should love all of them, religion included. You shouldn’t change anything about them. Many people compromise their relationship with God, to have a relationship with men/women. Then you go back to the basic, how strong is your faith? Does God really matter in your life? Or is the other person more important, that God comes in secondary?

See one thing you should understand that love is God. So God is there in all relationship. But the hurdle comes in one after another, when we choose to ignore the presence of God, and just concentrate on what we think, defines love. So here’s why I think sharing the same faith is VERY IMPORTANT in a relationship

• Firstly, it all depends on whether you want the relationship to last or not. If you want it to last, then the foundation must be strong. The only way to make if strong, when God is the center of it. 😀 It doesn’t only last, it is also filled with so much hope and joy.  I found this picture in facebook. 🙂 See EVERYTHING works out when you put God first. If it doesn’t, then you know it is not in the will of God. 🙂
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• Secondly, when you put God first in your relationship, every struggle you face, every problem will somehow be solved. I’m not saying it won’t be there. Of course it will. But because God is present, the couple who endures it will overcome it, no matter how bad it seems. Because when you love each other and God is the glue that holds you both together, then no power in hell can break it. 🙂 God is love. And love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. 🙂
• Thirdly, when someone has God in them, everything about them is so beautiful. The fact that they know God and strives to be like Him, they wouldn’t use you or hurt you in any way possible. Of course, Christian men and women are not perfect. We make mistakes all the time. But the fact that we have God, it gives us the grace to learn, to be wise, to be courageous, to be matured, to be patient, to be kind, to have self-control. Say if you were to marry a man or a woman of God, you know that this person will sacrifice his/her life for the family, like Christ did. 🙂
• Fourthly, being a Christian is synonymous to being pure. Pure in mind, heart, soul and body. And unless your partner is a Christian, he or she wouldn’t understand the cost of impurity. Even if you were to explain it, they can’t understand. They don’t know how harmful is it to give in to the will of the flesh and to submit to lust. And that can damage you too. Especially when you begin compromising your values for something that you think is worth so much more than God himself. To a certain extend you feel happy because your partner is happy. But deep down, there is this nagging feeling, guilt and shame that will haunt you, which makes you feel unworthy. 😦 And you submit to a relationship that requires only one person to be happy. And that person is not you. 😦
• Fifthly, say if your relationship did work out till you tie the knot and have kids. So you go to church, your husband goes to the hindu temple and where does your kids go? To the mosque?? 😛 I’m saying, that it is unfair to both parties if the children has to follow only one parent or worst, both.. to the temple and church. Because both faith, has different teachings and values. You will not only confuse the child, but also loosen the bond that should be strengthened. Imagine this. A family, praying together, reading the bible together, going to church and singing hymns together. It’s not perfect. It’s never perfect. But the fact that God is the center of the family, it makes it all worthwhile. 😀
• Sixth. the fact that you are of the same faith, you can always fall back onto each other. If one person is struggling with her faith, her partner will be there, challenging her to learn and grow in the moments of trials and vice versa. 😀

And there are some that says, “My faith is strong.. maybe I can change him. But I won’t change mine..”

Here’s some reality check:

• You cannot change someone. It is not up to you. And if someone said, they will change FOR you, what’s the point? That change is dangerous and frustrating. It doesn’t last. It is also very unfair to the other party. Change, whether in religion, or attitude or anything should occur on its own. It should involve the person’s own will, own desire. He must WANT to change. He doesn’t HAVE too, but he WANTS too. Honestly speaking, people always say they will change. Truth is, they’re just saying it. #speakingfromexperience
• Let’s say your faith is strong. And let’s get real. This is real life. Not “A-walk-to-remember”.. 😛 And if you, in your ability, are unable to attract this person to Christ, what happens then? You just leave? How is that fair to the other party, who waited all this years for you?

So before getting into a relationship, set your priorities right. What is it you want? If you want God to be there, then don’t go for someone who is not of your own faith and after that break that person’s heart. If it is alright, to not have God in there, then by all means.. it is your choice.

My post might be very opinionated, very biased and I wanted it to be as such. Of course, in some cases relationship with another faith did work out.  I’m not saying that its impossible. I’m saying with God there, the relationship is so beautiful, so fulfilling. 🙂 I am also saying to be in a relationship with another faith, is going to be a challenge. But if God has been there in your life, and life has treated you in such a way that you choose to leave Him, maybe you should try seeking Him again, before you decide. 🙂

If you are in a relationship, reflect on this verse. See if it fits it perfectly 😀

And as for me, I don’t just want someone who of my same faith. I want someone who is passionate about God, even more than I am. Because I know the price of it. See, God paid my debt with a price that I cannot match and I can’t possibly repay Him back. The only way, is to allow His will in my life. 🙂

And, wait. Wait for the perfect one. God has saved someone special for you. Someone who is perfectly made for you.. .And while waiting, concentrate on becoming the right person with the right values. And the right person will come along, God willing. 🙂

Have a great day!